So why am I here?

Simple...to start up a personal rant page of shit that annoys me.
And what annoys me most is shitty advertising.

You see there are these advertising agencies that con their clients. I'm not naming names or pointing fingers, but sometimes you gotta wonder just how much time these drug-fueled freaks spend on the campaigns they put together.

Now this isn't a sour grapes column. None of that "DeSlant's a loser who couldn't hack it in the media world, so now he's pissing and moaning at those who did." I got a career in this industry, without the papers and nothing but talent, but that's another topic.

Nah...this is from someone who watches (and listens and reads) ads with a critical eye. "Why?" you may ask...

As I stated before, agencies take client's money and waste it. They spend 3 months getting themselves motherless and a week before deadline hard-sell some half-assed concept to a clueless client who's had so much sugar blown up his ass he's spitting cotton-candy balls...

Then they feed us this drivel and expect us as consumers to rush out and buy the product.Now of course, if you're an uneducated consumer with shit-for-brains you'll buy anything they'll sell you...and good for you for being part of the world's largest population explosion (and if you don't get that reference, you probably voted a 2nd term for Bush and a 3rd term for Mbeki and why don't you rush out and supersize your meal and die sooner so three families can use the land you live on).

On top of all that, so-called advertising schools are churning out spoilt, privileged little asswipes who don't know syntax from tic-tacs or context from Converse - but because daddy could foot the exorbitant fee-bill they're now qualified copywriters/creative directors...

Yes, there are exceptions: notably the chaps from Net#Work BBDO who created the Corsa Lite campaign and the creative director behind the new BMW SA campaign...

But by and large, agencies are full of talentless tossers...

So this is my own little rage against the machine...and besides, none of these sadasses pay my salary, so I can...